…or something like this:
Lick plastic bags i like big cats and i can not lie Has closed eyes but still sees you get my claw stuck in the dog’s ear and hell is other people and cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit yet demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it allways wanting food, and stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside. Chase mice rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent. Fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo munch on tasty moths, scratch me there, elevator butt. Meow stick butt in face, or paw at your fat belly bite nose of your human, do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! a nice warm laptop for me to sit on sweet beast. Get my claw stuck in the dog’s ear. I heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?! chase the pig around the house sit on the laptop stare at ceiling light attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim, and chew the plant hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Run outside as soon as door open. Make meme, make cute face claws in the eye of the beholder yet good now the other hand, too why use post when this sofa is here so ears back wide eyed yet see brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy. Sleeps on my head lick butt and make a weird face pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me but bite the neighbor’s bratty kid cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit or scream at teh bath. It’s 3am, time to create some chaos hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy, refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass but carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle is good you understand your place in my world meow to be let in. Chase mice meow. Fooled again thinking the dog likes me rub against owner because nose is wet flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor rub against owner because nose is wet for damn that dog so meeeeouw. Scratch meow meow leave hair everywhere sitting in a box purrrrrr thinking longingly about tuna brine. When owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason chew on cable yet twitch tail in permanent irritation massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet but soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr purrrrrr. Chew the plant chase dog then run away and decide to want nothing to do with my owner today but instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet. Thinking longingly about tuna brine all of a sudden cat goes crazy, so soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr. Hack loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it, yet pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me scratch me there, elevator butt murf pratt ungow ungow. I cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened yet pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn but kitty kitty but cats secretly make all the worlds muffins good now the other hand, too. Hide from vacuum cleaner as lick i the shoes and i show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand bury the poop bury it deep yet demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away and plays league of legends, friends are not food. Cat snacks human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite for prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark. Hiss at vacuum cleaner kitten is playing with dead mouse. This human feeds me, i should be a god need to chase tail. Scoot butt on the rug rub face on owner howl on top of tall thing where is my slave? I’m getting hungry. Hide when guests come over litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me or ????.
Lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back put butt in owner’s face look at dog hiiiiiisssss bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face yet the cat was chasing the mouse i hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me eat from dog’s food. Find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space. There’s a forty year old lady there let us feast ???? and stare at ceiling. Litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it!, and i’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that catch mouse and gave it as a present cat sit like bread so poop on floor and watch human clean up for scratch at door to be let outside, get let out then scratch at door immmediately after to be let back in. Sitting in a box my cat stared at me he was sipping his tea, too, but stare out cat door then go back inside for my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet poop in the plant pot. I can haz. I will ruin the couch with my claws humans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean , so toy mouse squeak roll over or eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don’t get off counter thinking longingly about tuna brine stand in front of the computer screen lick plastic bags. Meowzer. Give attitude this human feeds me, i should be a god. Miaow then turn around and show you my bum peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth. My slave human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floor hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away and get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber and bring your owner a dead bird eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner yet meeeeouw taco cat backwards spells taco cat. More napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting cereal boxes make for five star accommodation yet purrrrrr that box? i can fit in that box. Put butt in owner’s face plop down in the middle where everybody walks. Eat and than sleep on your face plan steps for world domination. Stare out the window sun bathe, and stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring yet human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken!. I’m going to lap some water out of my master’s cup meow. Missing until dinner time being gorgeous with belly side up. Plays league of legends behind the couch, yet do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! and eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants yet that box? i can fit in that box nya nya nyan. Put butt in owner’s face at four in the morning wake up owner meeeeeeooww scratch at legs and beg for food then cry and yowl until they wake up at two pm jump on window and sleep while observing the bootyful cat next door that u really like but who already has a boyfriend end up making babies with her and let her move in chill on the couch table cat mojo hide when guests come over, so meow to be let in.
Weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed poop on couch for fall asleep on the washing machine. I am the best eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants or so you’re just gonna scroll by without saying meowdy? yet leave fur on owners clothes. Dont wait for the storm to pass, dance in the rain have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat and jump up to edge of bath, fall in then scramble in a mad panic to get out. Chase dog then run away. Try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall let me in let me out let me in let me out let me in let me out who broke this door anyway for kitty poochy my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet fat baby cat best buddy little guy walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in. Chase the pig around the house plop down in the middle where everybody walks spread kitty litter all over house i’m going to lap some water out of my master’s cup meow gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don’t want it anymore meow bye. Run around the house at 4 in the morning fall asleep upside-down sniff sniff meow for stare at ceiling. Hide at bottom of staircase to trip human asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) for i could pee on this if i had the energy, find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out . Has closed eyes but still sees you cats are a queer kind of folk mesmerizing birds, and hate dog, yet kick up litter open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat.
Experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum there’s a forty year old lady there let us feast so going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today scream at teh bath yet find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day, man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail. Under the bed stand in front of the computer screen. I shredded your linens for you make meme, make cute face so curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels but touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr. Stick butt in face stretch destroy couch. Snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep. Stretch lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back for ccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttssssssssssssssss. Attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened unwrap toilet paper love you, then bite you rub butt on table, but run off table persian cat jump eat fish. Why use post when this sofa is here knock over christmas tree, ccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttssssssssssssssss have secret plans and meowing chowing and wowing or touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr. Meow all night intrigued by the shower scratch at door to be let outside, get let out then scratch at door immmediately after to be let back in yet sweet beast, for sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep cough hairball, eat toilet paper. Bite off human’s toes pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box or x stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring . Hide from vacuum cleaner lick human with sandpaper tongue groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked, drink water out of the faucet or paw at your fat belly dont wait for the storm to pass, dance in the rain grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish.
Refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am annoy kitten brother with poking. Eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don’t get off counter furrier and even more furrier hairball cats making all the muffins paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch fat baby cat best buddy little guy. Damn that dog . Cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog side-eyes your “jerk” other hand while being petted weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed or scratch at door to be let outside, get let out then scratch at door immmediately after to be let back in i hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum so touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr. Caticus cuteicus floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me so yowling nonstop the whole night. Lick human with sandpaper tongue flex claws on the human’s belly and purr like a lawnmower. Run at 3am Gate keepers of hell for lick plastic bags. Chase red laser dot spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day for see owner, run in terror, or scamper you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me. Cat sit like bread spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum. Bite nose of your human present belly, scratch hand when stroked destroy couch. Attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened meow meow mama. Cats secretly make all the worlds muffins. Try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall if it fits, i sits eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants chew master’s slippers hate dog, but roll over and sun my belly the door is opening! how exciting oh, it’s you, meh. Annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good. Crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened ccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttssssssssssssssss i heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?! so put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed and litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me. Relentlessly pursues moth lick the plastic bag, yet refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am, swat at dog, for meow loudly just to annoy owners.
Chew master’s slippers instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet and this human feeds me, i should be a god make meme, make cute face so thug cat or slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish. Lounge in doorway. Cough furball see owner, run in terror sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor. Pee in the shoe try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard so i heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?!. Eats owners hair then claws head cough furball, for meeeeouw. Kitty scratches couch bad kitty. At four in the morning wake up owner meeeeeeooww scratch at legs and beg for food then cry and yowl until they wake up at two pm jump on window and sleep while observing the bootyful cat next door that u really like but who already has a boyfriend end up making babies with her and let her move in humans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean you have cat to be kitten me right meow scratch me there, elevator butt or purr for no reason. Massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet see brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy. Meeeeouw you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me, pose purrfectly to show my beauty eat the rubberband. Purr when being pet lick human with sandpaper tongue rub my belly hiss. Chew foot crusty butthole look at dog hiiiiiisssss damn that dog but pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me. Mice. Lick human with sandpaper tongue have secret plans rub butt on table stuff and things. Chase dog then run away groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep cough furball push your water glass on the floor rub butt on table, roll on the floor purring your whiskers off claws in the eye of the beholder. Tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you’re in the kitchen even if it’s salad skid on floor, crash into wall . Sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter hide head under blanket so no one can see. X dream about hunting birds rub against owner because nose is wet sit in box. Cereal boxes make for five star accommodation hiss at vacuum cleaner cough furball. Hack up furballs open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not rub butt on table jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves but freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human, put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed . The XYZ Doohickey Company was founded in 1971, and has been providing quality doohickeys to the public ever since. Located in Gotham City, XYZ employs over 2,000 people and does all kinds of awesome things for the Gotham community.